Frog in a Well ...

"Two steps forward, one step back."

I'd never heard where this well-known saying came from, but it's definitely how I've been feeling lately. Apparently, it's origin is in an anecdote about a frog trying to climb out of a well with such slippery sides that for every two steps the frog manages to scramble ahead, it slips back one. Its progress, therefore, is quite arduous. And slow. And frustrating.

This saying came to mind almost immediately when I was contemplating what to blog about today. A few of the various paths of my life are currently becoming rather tortuous, and it feels quite as though I'm engaged in Sisyphean tasks, rolling the weighty boulders of duty and responsibility and achievement up and up and up the Hill of Accomplishment just to have them come hurtling back down, leaving me feeling weary and unfulfilled and frustrated in the process.

This applies to working on my book specifically:
(1) Write.
(2) Get "inspired."
(3) Write some more, happy to have clubbed my muse with authority.
(4) Crawl into bed feeling satisfied and not a little euphoric.
(5) Wake up and remember sense of accomplishment and progress. Float for a while.
(6) Eventually get back to writing sometime later in the day.
(7) Before excitedly adding something else to the previous pages of perfection, read what I actually wrote "under inspiration" and get blindsided by doubts about the quality and value of almost every word and idea looking back at me.
(8) Feel the Sisyphean boulder crush me as it rolls back down, bearing down on the delete key all the way.

HOWEVER, I am not Sisyphus. I am not condemned to an eternity of non-progress. My paths are tortuous, not dead-ends. So I'm adding #9 to my writing (and living) process:

(9) Get some perspective and remember the definition of one of the vocabulary words I teach my students:
tor·tu·ous
  [tawr-choo-uhs]
-adjective
1.full of twists, turns, or bends; twisting, winding, or crooked: 



In other words, my paths, though often containing twists and turns that feel like backtrackings and u-turns, are actually still moving me onward. And moving onward means progress. And progress? Well, progress is that frog one day pulling its slimy green body onto the lip of the well and smelling (do frogs smell?) the sweet aroma of accomplishment. In my case, the sense of achievement is often so heady that I jump right back down into the well and start the whole bloomin' process all over again to see what new accomplishment I can chase. But that's material for a different post.


For now, I'm remembering to find my perspective. And I'm going to keep pushing my boulder, or climbing my well wall, or whatever metaphor you'd like to apply. Two steps forward and one step back still means one step ahead!